Since when is my name a synonym for head?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
