Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
