it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
