is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
