I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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