yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
