Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
