theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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