just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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