So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize