I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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