We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
