The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'