the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
what day is it and did you see me today?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
