Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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