You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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