dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
