Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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