Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize