1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
