his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
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