I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
