I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
