well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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