And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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