and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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