I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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