He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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