Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
