Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
