oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
