Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
