He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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