I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
