Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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