Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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