Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
