So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
