guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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