What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
