Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
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