I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
