Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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