I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
