Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
