ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
