using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
