Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
