I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
