Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize