grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
