I like to think it a success when the cops are called
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
