Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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