You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
