I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I got her a Nickelback box set.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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