I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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