Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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