Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
