I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
